The cycle of Never Ending Change

Not Quite Enough

It has been years since I have woken up and felt whole; if ever. That’s not to say I am never happy or fulfilled by the ebb and flow of my life. Fore, I am all too aware of my ever growing list of accomplishments and I can therefore feel nothing but gratitude for the experiences I have had. As I have never been one to linger on a set back I rank every challenge as an opportunity for growth and mark any small change or major experience as a victory. Yet here I am two weeks since I decided to blog again still uneasy over how to start, still feeling stuck in an endless cycle of procrastination and self – letdowns.

The Endless Chase

For years I have been chasing this idea of who I want to be. The idea that once my finances are in order, once I no longer procrastinate on every project and consistently follow my ideas thru to the end I will feel whole. Assuming this wholeness will make me happy and I will finally be able to relax under the guise of what I consider success. Only it’s years later and my life has changed in almost every way and yet this feeling is still holding me hostage. As much as my life has changed in the past 12 months  since I last blogged my self-criticism has continued to work against me and all the personal improvement I obsess over.

Becoming Whole

Therefore, my goal for the next twelve months is to honestly just love myself. I am setting out to breakdown the wall of self  – doubt and self – loathing that has sabotaged every effort I have made to find happiness up until this point. My hope is that my blog can once again be my outlet and motivation as I breakdown and rebuild my mindset, habits and overall life.

It is 3 days until I turn 28 & Mission Find Happiness Day One 🙂

Basic Guidelines:

           1. Do not over complicate things

            2. Do not take on too much too fast

            3. Think before saying Yes

            4. Build new habits slowly           

            5. Forgive yourself for past setbacks and future failures

                   Every challenge is an opportunity for growth.

Guidelines Restated in a Positive Way (I plan on doing this a lot over the next year)

            1. Simplicity always

            2. Take things on gradually 

            3. Stop and think first

            4. One habit at a time

            5. Always Forgive

 

Featured Image: Harper’s Bazaar Australia. Photographer, Sylve Colless. Fashion Editor, Caroline Tran. Hair, Koh hair. Makeup, Peter Beard. Model, Franzi Stegemann.

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